Friday, September 21, 2012

Jergens' Lotion

I would give anything if I could smell that smell again.  Especially tonight. Just a plain ole lotioney smell. Not something I could rub on and sniff, but a mixture of Oil of Olay, Vitamin E cream, and Jergens' Lotion.  I know for a fact it was Jergens because I remember all the bottle sitting around.
Weeks like this week, days like these last couple of days, and hours like these last few hours, are the times I realize how much I miss my mammaw. It didn't matter what she was doing, it didn't matter how tired she was, she was always there. Always there waiting with an open heart, an open mind, 2 open ears, and 2 open arms.  Tonight, I really miss those 2 arms mammaw.  Tonight, I wish I knew I could go to bed and call you in the morning and tell you I was coming down for a while to talk.  You knowingly would prepare a pot of coffee, some biscuits and gravy for the boys, and be ready with tissues.
When my growing pains would hurt as a little girl, my mammaw would massage Icy Hot into them for nearly an hour. I would cry because my legs would hurt so so so bad, and she would sit there, with my chubby legs in her feeble arthritic hands and massage away.
I would sing and sing and sing as I listened to her old 8 track player, and she told me I would be famous one day.  That I was gonna be a star, just like Dolly Parton.  Not just the boobs, but singing and all.
When I got older and I would want to stay with her in North Carolina so bad, but never stayed away from home, she wouldn't force me to stay or go, but encouraged me to.  In spite of her and daddy meeting half way the next morning, I still managed to stay that one night away from home.
When I got married (the first time), she was soooooo proud of me.  She told me that at my reception.  That she was so proud that I had turned out to be a beautiful woman ( like her ) and that I was following my heart, no matter what everyone else said.  Years and years later when I went to her crying that I was getting a divorce, then later crying because people thought I was crazy for getting married again, she repeated those same words.  She was so proud of me for following my heart and not listening to everyone else. She loved Royal.  She would hug on him just as she did me, and that tickled him since his grandparents lived so far away.
When Landon was born, she bragged and bragged on him to everyone.  She said he was different.  There was something special about that one, and he was gonna do big big things one day.  After Rylan was born, she called me constantly to bring him down to play with the chickens.  He still to this day cries, "Mammaw, bock bocks", anytime we go near Elms Springs Ridge.
I miss you.  I miss you more than I can even express, and I'm sorry that I took for granted those little moments mammaw.  I hope that one day I can be half the mother and grandmother that you were to all of us.  I love you.

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